Hi there

So, for some reason, I thought it'd be nice to start a blog again.
To write some random shit out of my mind. I got no real writing skills really but I thought it would be a good idea to write again, above all for myself. So my brain can read itself back sometime in the future. I used to run some kind of livejournal-blog-thing but that was a couple of years ago. I don't really know where that went, at some point in time I just stopped using it. It might still be around somewhere, maybe you can find it.

Today must've been one of my most out of tune days of this year. I overslept hours on my own workday. I smoked some pot last night, which is fine but when I'm high I tend to keep doing stuff until it's reaalllyy late at night. That's when I catch myself in a bad loop. Either I should go to bed on time when I'm stoned or I shouldn't smoke pot period during the weekdays. So I got up late, slept way too long (which made me feel blurry some more) and figured I didn't have any food left in my fridge or in my cupboards. I ran out and oh yeah, that's right, it's because I ran out of money last week.

I checked my bank account to see if any money got in but my account still says € 3,30 since the last couple of days. This year I'm being supported by Cultuur-Ondernemen, a dutch foundation that supports artists financially so that they can fully focus on their creative endeavours. So for the first and last time in my life, I've asked them to back me up for the year 2011. I showed them the things I'd done the last couple of years and they said "YES - You're an artist, we'll support you". So they give me a couple of hundred bucks a month so I can keep being a creative weirdo and live it. But what happened? No money this month. I know they're gonna quit when 2012 kicks in but I still got one supportive month left to go! I counted on this... so I made some phone calls and sent an e-mail and soon it occurred to me that they lost my papers which I have to hand in each month (like the bills I send out to my customers) which means no proof of papers is no payment!! So that's what's taking them so long! I'll see them in the morning and re-deliver all that stuff for them. It should solve the problem as soon as possible.

My dad walked into my studio (I currently work, live and sleep in a one-room studio near the harbour of Tilburg) and caught me at my sloppiest moment, in the middle of my afternoon, cranky, hungry, thirsty, smelling sleepy and looking crusty with no food and no money. He took me to the store and bought me food and drinks. I felt ashamed but I thanked him.

After he left I ate and drank some of the shopping gear and I left into town to meet up with this guy of who I wanna release some of his art into an artbook via my label Garden of Eyes. But he never showed up. Appears he had to over-work at his job and he got my wrong number so I'm glad I called him.

On the road again. In the meantime the weather is cold and the wind sometimes cuts like a couple of invisible mini scythes rushing through my skin and bones with great perpetual enthusiasm.

Back home. I sit down and I'm almost out of smokes. Goddamn it. I'm really out of flow today. I check in at Facebook and notice a bunch of various folks are having an out-of-tune day. Glad I'm not alone. I get a message from a friend who's cancelling our possible visit to the cinema tonight. Bummer.

Tonight there's also supposed to be a meeting with my homies at my place. We run a dj crew called Grudgefuck. We organize freaked-out events where heavy dance assault DJ's spin their tunes and people dance hard and take a lot of drugs. But another friend of mine is in the middle of moving into his first crib! And they would like the meeting to take place over there. A last-minute switch into chaos. I'm not too sure about the change of scenery, they're still moving boxes! It's like doing a double date, shit just ain't happening as good as sticking to a single date. One hour later another one of our crew homies calls in sick, he ain't gonna be there tonight. Maybe this meeting is taking place way too late in the evening in the first place, 22:30?!?! People are tired. I'm tired! Fuck this. We drop it.

I find my first moment of peace late in the evening in my studio at my desk, working on some mini-assignment poster design, updating my website, uploading a new Grudgefuck mix by our pal Billy BUBtek.

Now I'm here back in bed, starting a blog on my lappie, feeling fucking easy, writing a bunch of crap. Nice! How was your day today?